10 Things Not To Say Or Do!

Because our brains are wired negatively - four negative emotions and one positive emotion - and because our emotional reaction is much faster than our logical brain, we are sometimes filled with regret at things we say and do.

Here are a few tips and rules to help you to reduce saying and doing dumb things and for recovering quickly when we do which will reduce our subsequent negative feelings;

1.     Never say the first thing that comes into your head, it is always wrong. Your brain is wired to defend you and will want to overcome any hint of an attack by getting nasty. Take a deep slow breath and say the next thing that comes to mind, your logical brain would have caught up by then.

2.     Never say anything when you are angry and never confront someone at the time when feelings are heated. Always take the humble ground and know that the other person will feel guilty because they were the aggressor.

3.     Never criticise someone. Say "I usually do this...." rather than say that they are doing it wrong.

4.     Show your appreciation if someone offers you advice or helps you with something despite the fact you never asked for it or wanted it. They just want to help.

5.     If you make a mistake or know that you are wrong, admit it immediately. By not doing so will only cause you more angst thinking about it later and it is more difficult to apologise as time goes on.

6.     Try to see things from the other person's point of view, it will help you to understand the way that they are behaving.

7.     Acknowledge good ideas, don't let jealousy stop you from doing so.

8.     Do less talking, the other person will feel more important and you have less chance of saying the wrong thing.

9.     Talk about mistakes that you have made in the past before talking about the other person’s mistakes.

10. Let the other person save face. Never point out when they are wrong as it will make you look arrogant.