Conversations To Reconnect

Infrequently we will come across a person who we do not get along with no matter how much we try. That's just the way it is. However, sometimes we need to work with that person in our vocation or we just want (need) to reconnect with them following conflict.

If we do not reconnect after a conflict we harbour emotions such as guilt, regret, anger, loathing and sometimes jealousy. These feelings continue to niggle away at us and will exaggerate overtime if left without closure.

One person has to make the first move so why should that person not be you? Our brain will tell us that we are more important than the other person and that is 'them' who should make the first move. Ignore your emotional brain, that's your mind messing with you.

If you feel that you were at fault, simply apologise and move on. In saying that you don't always have to apologise, nor should you if you haven't said or done anything to apologise for.

Here are some sentences that you might want to try which will help to reconnect you with the other person involved in the conflict;

·        "We both have a commitment to ....., and it is important that we work together on it."

·        "Let's look at how we can work together to move forward on ....."

·        "I'd like to hear again what you have to say on...."

·        "I know that we see things differently, let's sit and articulate these differences so that we hear each other’s perspective."

·        "I would appreciate your input into this matter as your view is important."

·        "How would you like to proceed from here?"

Notice that none of the sentences use the word 'why' and the focus is on moving forward. Clarify the differences and move on.