There are many variations of active listening available on the internet. Over the next few days I am going to take you through the eight strategies used successfully world-wide by those involved in crisis negotiations.
Reflecting and Mirroring
There are many variations of active listening available on the internet. Over the next few days I am going to take you through the eight strategies used successfully world-wide by those involved in crisis negotiations.
Reflecting and Mirroring
Both of these techniques are interchangeable and are used to guide the conversation, to keep it on track and get to the cause of the behaviour which in turn allows you to find the solution. It not only shows that you are listening, it also shows that you are a person and not just a tool of a large organisation.
Mirroring is a great way to focus the other person on a particular part of the conversation that you want to explore further. Choose one or two words out of what the person has said and pose it as a question. For example if I was to say that I woke up, went for a run, had a shower, watched some TV and then went to work. You wanted to know more about what I watched on TV so you would simply say “TV” using inflection in your voice to pose the word as a question. Wait a few seconds for me to respond and if I don’t you would then ask “What did you watch on TV?” Notice I started with the word 'What' in the last sentence.
Reflecting is used when you want to understand the other person's feelings, their emotions. Using the same example above you would ask “After you watched TV it made you feel angry?” This is reflecting back to the person what they said and includes an emotion. You are bringing them back to the topic and exploring in more detail why the person is feeling (behaving) the way they are.
In both situations you are rephrasing their words using your own to ensure that you are hearing what is being said. Don't be too concerned if you don't quite get it right as the other person will correct you which will encourage them to talk more.
Tomorrow we will examine emotion labeling.