What I Learned From My Mother 🫶
We all know our mothers had a great impact on our future. Here is what my mother used to say to me, and my interpretation of how it has helped me as an adult;
👉 “Stop being lazy and get out of bed.” - Mornings are when we are at our most creative, don’t waste it lying in bed.
👉 “Make your damn bed.” – Starting each day by making your bed puts your head in order, allows you to start the day with a ritual, helps you to wake properly, and provides you with the time to think about your day ahead.
👉 “Make sure you eat at all of your breakfast.” – a balanced breakfast will give you energy to get you through the day, help minimise cravings and prevent that afternoon slump. ravings.
👉 “Brush your teeth!” – Personal hygiene not only makes you look (and smell) better, it is these small actions that help us feel good about ourselves.
👉 “Have you got a clean handkerchief?” – You never know when others may need a shoulder to cry on and you can sit, listen, and offer a handkerchief as a small gesture of care.
👉 “Don’t waste your pocket money on junk.” – Spend your money wisely, and put aside money for when you really need it.
👉 “Listen to me!” - Listening is what we should all strive to do before opening our mouth. Aim for twice as much listening as you do talking where appropriate.
👉 “Stand still for 5 minutes.” – in a busy day - slow down and stop to smell the roses, listen to the birds, and centre yourself.
👉 “Have you done your homework yet?” – To have a restful sleep, write a list of the things you have to do the next day so that you can relax knowing that you have your list ready for tomorrow.
👉 “Get to sleep now, or else.” – You've heard me say it before, but sleep is probably the most important thing that you can do for your wellbeing.
My mother also told me that I had to wear clean underwear in case I was in an accident. What she actually meant was to take pride in who you are, what you do, and what you stand for.
Listen to your mothers, they are much wiser than you may think.
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What Can We Learn From Animals?
What can we learn from animals?
There are a few things that I have learned from watching animals that we can use in business;
1. The smallest does not necessarily mean the weakest - often the smallest animals have the largest heart, so too can it be in business.
2. The runt of the litter need not remain that way - just because we have been rejected and isolated need not mean that we have to stay that way, and if you fight hard enough you can become stronger than the rest.
3. There is strength in numbers - if you have a small business, collaborate with others when needed to become stronger.
4. Natural enemies can become friends - if you reach out to your competitors you may be able to work together using each of your strengths.
5. Bigger is not necessarily better - Smaller businesses are more flexible, can adapt quickly to the ever-changing environment, and offer value for money.
6. Rats don't desert a sinking ship - they leave when the time is right to find a better place to survive. Sometimes we may have to change what we do and how we do it.
7. A turtle on its back will keep trying - no matter how bad things get; it is important to keep going.
8. Weak species survive with numbers - surround yourself with good people; those who care about you, support you, and want you to succeed.
9. Animals are loyal - be loyal to your business, your values, and mostly, yourself.
10. Animals will fight to the death for their family – ‘familia omnia’, family is all. Fight for your family because that is the most important thing in most of our lives.
10 Things I Learned as a Crisis Negotiator.
10 things I learned in my time as a crisis negotiator
1. Never make a promise that you cannot keep - When we break a promise, not only does the person we made it to feel bad but we also feel the same way. Under-promise and over-deliver is a great guide.
2. Be honest - honesty is the most important thing that you can do for yourself and for others.
3. Be the first to give - Always give something first and never ask for anything in return. Why, because generally, the other person will always reciprocate if they have the opportunity to.
4. Listen - We have two ears and one mouth to do twice as much listening as talking.
5. Only speak if you have something to say - as above, silence is the key to listening. Less is more.
6. Make it about them - Focus on the other person's needs, then your own.
7. Be humble - If we take the lower ground, we gain respect. It is so easy to become aggressive if we need to but difficult to retract what we said in anger.
8. Keep an open mind - A closed mind causes friction and is a barrier to understanding.
9. Never leave anything unsaid - just like on a sports field we give everything, the same rule applies in conversations. Say all that you have to say, in particular if expressing emotions. Men often find this one difficult to do.
10. Always finish with an agreement - never leave a conversation on a negative note, always finish on a positive or with an agreement.
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Sticking To Your Goals.
Sometimes we struggle after having decided to make a change in our life, and oftentimes we give up without really knowing that we have given up until we realise that we are back into our old patterns of behaviour.
Often when we're trying to make a change in our life, or perhaps to achieve a goal, we become frustrated that things aren't happening fast enough.
Research is overwhelming, and I don't think we needed research to confirm this, life is getting faster and faster. As the rest of our life is moving faster through technological advances, we expect the same fast result when it comes to our personal endeavours.
Science is now able to tell us a lot more about how our brains process information, how we can influence our behaviour though our thoughts, and how we can make improvements in our lives.
We know that it takes longer than 21 days to change a habit. It is actually 60 to 80 days depending on how ingrained the habit is that you want to change. We also know that when it comes to achieving goals, we shouldn't write down more than five. One is more than enough to make a real impact on our life.
Here's a quick guide on changing habits and setting goals, both of which go together. If you want to achieve a goal you have to change something that you are currently doing. Most often, you are needing to change a lifetime habit;
Identify the one thing you want to change that will make the biggest impact on your life.
Look at all of the factors that are currently contributing to that area of your life you want to change.
Now choose just two of those factors that will give you the fastest improvement with the least amount of effort. Choosing more than two and you will soon find yourself being overwhelmed and giving up.
Identify the way in which you can introduce those two factors into your life with the greatest of ease and without causing frustration.
Mark the date that you start on a calendar, then count out 80 days and place another mark. That is the day that you no longer have to concentrate on introducing the two factors, they will be ingrained into your brain.
You can then repeat the process for the next change in your life. And then again, and then again, and then again.
By taking smaller steps we can achieve larger goals - it is about embedding patterns of behaviour.
If you find yourself falling back into old habits, don't beat yourself up about it, know that that is just part of the process. 50% of who we are is hereditary, it comes from our parents, it's in our DNA if you like. The other 50% is you and what you have done in your life. Therefore, you are able to change at least half of your behaviour because it's yours, it's you.
There is no quick fix when it comes to breaking habits or making changes in our life. Don't get frustrated, get determined, you got this.
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