Can We Grow Our Brain?

You jump in the car and find that you have left your keys behind, you see someone you have met occasionally and can't recall their name, you put something down and can't remember where you left it. "I am so forgetful these days" you tell yourself, "I wonder if I am getting dementia".

According to Gary Small, in his book 2 Weeks to a Younger Brain, memory peaks and declines with age. He asserts that brain aging begins at the age of 20 and declines to a point where at the age of 55, our visual memory is about equal to that of a 10-year-old. The good news is that another study of 70-year-olds playing video games increased their brain performance to that of 20-year-olds. Recent studies show that we can regress back in time. The decor of a rest home was transformed back to the 1950s, elderly residents became more active with their health and mind improving as a direct result.

There are three stages of brain aging; normal aging (begins around 40), mild cognitive impairment, and dementia. Surprisingly, recent research indicates lifestyle habits affect our brain more than genetics do. If we do nothing about the brain's natural aging process, chances are our brain will deteriorate faster than had we done something about it.

So, what can we do to stall the brain aging process? Here are a five common science-based things to help your brain stay healthy;

  1. Sex - (I bet that got your attention) a healthy sex life has been shown to reduce stress and stimulate the growth of new memory cells.

  2. Listen to music - listening to music the we enjoy improves mood and memory through the release of dopamine.

  3. Socialisation, Exercise, and Sleep - I cheated, these are actually three things, the three most important things that we can do to support our health and well-being.

  4. A healthy diet - our brains consume around 20% of all of the oxygen and nutrients in our entire body so eating healthy boosts our brain power. Eat well, hydrate well, be well.

  5. Train your brain - meditate, learn new things, do puzzles (Sudoku is best), watch interesting documentaries, pull something apart to see how it works, become curious about everything.

Here are five other techniques that are still science-based, just a little different;

  1. Become ambidextrous - do things, including writing, with the less dominant hand.

  2. Use different learning techniques - read, listen, watch and experiment.

  3. Memorise - by all means use lists but try remembering what is on the list before reading it. When you meet a group of people, try remembering everyone’s name.

  4. Break routines - doing the same thing every day leads us to a RUT so 'do the same thing differently'.

  5. Let your mind wander - mindfulness has its place yet may hold back your creativity. If you are contemplating a change, working on a problem, or just want to relax, letting your mind go to where it wants to may help find the solution or relax you.

The brain is like a muscle, use it or lose it, it's that simple. Behaving like your younger self is the best way to stay young. Just remember that your brain might think that you are young, but your body might not agree.

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The Brain: Emotions and Breathing

Can I Stop Reliving Bad Events?

Neuroscience tells us that 80% of our memory is negative, full of the bad things we have been through. Apparently the only good memories we have are of holidays and significant events such as marriage, child birth, and the like. Even then, the memories aren't as clear as any bad event that happened to us.

In simple terms, evolution wired our brains to remember bad things to alert us to danger, to keep us alive. Additionally, our brain exaggerated the negative so that we could clearly see the danger to fix it, catastrophisation is the term.

It's all about emotions and that damn amygdala. When the amygdala fires up with negative events there is a lot more thinking involved, our brain processes information more thoroughly in bad events than it does with positive events. It is this additional processing that makes it hard for us to forget negative events, they are burnt into our memory.

Additionally, when we go through a negative event, our physiology is significantly impacted. Our heart rate rises, our breathing becomes shallow, adrenaline and cortisol is released into our blood, our mouth becomes dry, our skin becomes clammy, we may even become cold and start shivering. And when we recall that negative event, we go through the same physiological reactions as we did at the time of the event, thus reinforcing the event.

Hence, PTSD can occur as we continue to remind ourselves of that bad event and we relive the same feelings.

When we have a positive event in our life, dopamine is released into your brain, and we all know that dopamine is a feel-good chemical. So, can we use good memories to overcome bad ones? Yes, but it's not that easy, you have to focus hard. We can use the positive reaction from happy memories to lessen and bury the negative memory.

Replacing a negative memory with a positive one takes time; the good news is that it can be done and is probably the best approach provided you have a strong positive memory. Each time you have a negative memory pop into your head, go to your happy memory to replace it. When you remember a happy memory you will get a hit of dopamine which will lift your mood.

There are some other techniques that you might want to try when wanting to bury bad memories;

  • Psychotherapy works - I can personally vouch for psychotherapy, provided it is with a qualified professional, not a counsellor.

  • Avoid your triggers - Write down what it was that sparked the bad memory each time it occurs. Once you know your trigger, avoid it as much as possible.

  • Don't dwell on the negative - continually change your thoughts to break the neural pathway linked to the negative event.

  • Meditation and mindfulness - enrol in a meditation or mindfulness course which will show you how to control your thoughts.

  • Don't resist the feelings - For some people, forcing their thoughts doesn't work. Acknowledging the bad memory and feeling the feelings then letting the feelings go works better in the knowledge that the feelings aren't real.

  • Look forward to good things - Looking forward to goods things coming up is one that I use. Be in the moment but look forward to things coming up that give you a buzz, that shot of dopamine.

It is important to remind ourselves that bad memories make us who we are today, they have shaped us. Bad memories can make the good times even better. Finally, from adversity can come opportunity. I have many friends who have made successful careers out of their adversity. Perhaps you could do the same?

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Inspiration Comes When We Least Expect It.

Sitting in the office feeling sorry for myself as I recover from the flu and post skin cancer surgery, I received a message from a LinkedIn connection saying how much they enjoyed my posts. The message was unexpected, humbling, and inspired me to write this post. I received a boost from this message, a simple message, yet one that had a profound positive impact.

Reflecting on this point, it is often the case that inspiration comes when we least expect it and often from unexpected sources. How often have you felt down, sad, isolated and then from seemingly out of the blue comes a shot of inspiration? All the time I suspect.

The demands on us today have never been so intense in the history of civilisation. That is why anxiety, depression and suicide are far more prevalent today. The human brain is a fantastic thing but is not 'contemporary' enough to face the onslaught from today's hectic pace.

Inspiration motivates us, inspiration energises us, and inspiration allows us to keep up with life's fast pace. Here are some ways to inspire yourself and those around you;

  1. Challenge yourself and others - setting goals, beating targets, doing something that scares you, and going beyond your comfort zone will generate dopamine and many other 'feel good' chemicals in your brain.

  2. Send a message - take 2-minutes to send someone a message telling them how much they mean to you, how much they inspire you, or just thank them for being who they are.

  3. Be charitable - give something away, volunteer for a cause, offer to help someone, visit your neighbour, do something where you expect nothing in return.

  4. Show emotions - cry, laugh, sulk, or by all means get angry if you must. These are all human emotions which are part of who we are. Suppressing emotions has a negative impact on our wellbeing. Be careful with anger, get angry with what happened, not with yourself or with others.

  5. Listen - listen to someone when they talk with you, listen to the sounds around you, listen to silence, just listen. Listening slows down our thoughts and provides the opportunity for new thoughts and ideas to enter your mind.

  6. Show your good traits - be humble, be respectful, be compassionate, treat everyone the same, suppress your ego, and allow others to take the credit.

  7. Eliminate negative words - replace 'but' with 'and', 'can't' with 'can', 'won't' with 'will', and 'I' with 'us'.

  8. Acknowledge problems - life is full of solutions for things that challenge us, go and find the solution rather than focussing on the problem.

  9. Lead by example - have a positive mindset, be confident, pay attention, and always be in the moment. If you must, fake it until you make it.

  10. Smile - This is the most important thing that you can do to inspire yourself and others, smile. A smile is infectious, a smile reduces tension, a smile generates endorphins and serotonin, a smile provides your brain with a 'happiness feedback loop', and a smile reduces negative thoughts. The bonus, a smile is free to use at any time and for as many times as you wish to use it.

Time is not going any faster today than it has previously, it is simply that there is more going on in our lives than ever before. The way to keep abreast of this fast pace and meet life's new challenges is to 'inspire'. Inspiration equals motivation, motivation equals energy, and energy equals inspiration.

What are you waiting for, get inspired, be inspired and inspire others.

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Negotiating the Non-negotiable

As a crisis negotiator, it is important to quickly engage with those who you are talking with, particularly if they are threatening to take a life. There are some simple techniques that I once used to secure a peaceful end to what seemed like an impassable situation. You can use these when holding a difficult conversation, negotiating in a challenging situation, or simply want to make an impression;

What Have You got That They Need? - There is a reason the other party is talking with you, you have something that they need or want. Work out what it is that you have and they need, and how much you are prepared to give up for providing it. Then double it! If they need it and want it, they can pay for it. Never undersell yourself.

Control Your Body and Your Voice - When we are nervous, we speak louder, faster, and longer. During intense/difficult conversations, over 55% of communication is visual, 35% is HOW we say something, the remainder is the actual words. Holding a pen in the hand that you write with will control your uncontrolled facial micro-expressions and also help to reduce your volume.

Two ears, and one mouth - Encourage the other person to talk twice as much as you do. By doing this you are making it about them, allowing them to tell you everything about what they want, allowing them to vent, and making them feel as though they are in control. Of course, you are the one controlling the conversation by doing this.

Communication Today is HOT - Honesty is the best policy, if you get caught lying you have lost all credibility. Be Open to new ideas and suggestions, listen to what they have to say. Get To the point, no longer do we need to go through extended niceties, get on with it and show them that you are willing to go to the heart of the matter.

Don't Be Afraid - Show confidence with your head up and hold a strong body position. Have a bottom line and stick to it. Provide a reality check if they are suggesting something that is ridiculous or is below your bottom line. Take a time out if you need to regroup, this will show that you are in charge and won't be bullied.

Nice Guys Don't Always Finish Last - Humility, honesty, and humour, three H's that are traits others respond to positively. Recognise and acknowledge the other persons skills, be truthful in what you promise, and a joke at your own expense relaxes the other person.

You can negotiate what seems like the non-negotiable, all it takes is a few simple guidelines, being open-minded to suggestions, and compromise. It is the later point that causes us the most challenges in difficult negotiations. Compromise. You don't have to win, let that stuff go, you just have to find an agreed way forward.

Let's talk!

Sleep, An Impossibility For Shift Workers!

Three things in life keep us well - socialisation, exercise, and sleep - the latter being the most important one of all. Evolutionary, our best sleep time is from 11 pm to 7 am. What about shift workers who have to work during this natural sleep period? For one thing, they get unbelievably tired around 3 to 4 am.... I have met people who work permanent night shift yet still struggle with sleep patterns despite their regularity.

It is said that for those who work shift work, it is important to try and adhere as close as possible to the body's natural circadian rhythm, and this is true for most people. However, some of us don't have the ability to do so. As a cop, I would work night shift and come home to look after our children before they went to school, no chance of sticking as close as possible to the natural sleep cycle then.

Here are some simple things that might help those of you who struggle with sleep when working outside of the natural sleep pattern;

  1. Work in the light - try to expose yourself to as much bright lighting as possible over your night shift to keep you awake and alert.

  2. Eat lightly - have a large meal at the start of your shift, not in the middle. Snack on protein and fruit if you get hungry across your shift.

  3. Keep busy - avoid napping to get you through the night, this will only interfere with your sleep patterns.

  4. Avoid caffeine, completely - do not eat or drink any product that contains caffeine while working night shift. Caffeine remains in the body for long periods of time.

  5. Avoid smart technology for the last 3 hours of your shift - the blue light in smart technology mimics the blue light of the sun and you will start to produce melatonin, which is helpful to get to sleep. However, know that it takes 3 hours from the time the sun goes down until melatonin starts to work.

  6. Unwind before bed - spend 30 minutes winding down when you get home before heading off to bed, this will help relax your brain.

  7. Replicate the night - your room should be as cold, dark, and quiet as possible. Our forebears once slept in caves, keep your room under 15 degrees Celsius, use blinds and curtains, double glazing or earplugs will help eliminate noise. (Some people use 'white' noise to mask other sounds).

  8. Split your sleep - get as much sleep as possible in the first instance, then get up. Go back to bed in the early evening and try to catch up on lost sleep.

  9. Have a routine - it is difficult to do, but a must if you want to be consistent in your patterns of sleep. Try as much as you can to have a set ritual before going to bed, the same ritual every time. Mine was to have a light snack along with warm milk, have a shower, darken my room, glass of water by the bed, listen to the radio for 5 minutes then head down to sleep. Every day, no matter what, never change the ritual.

  10. Avoid alcohol, sedatives, or other sleep aids - as with most things, it is the quality not the quantity that matters. you are far better to have three hours of deep relaxing sleep rather than five hours of restless sleep.

Finally, don't stress about it. Easy to say and hard to do, I know. Worrying about how much sleep you need/are getting will only add to your dilemma. If you do need to have a coffee on night shift, do so. If you want to take a sleep aid, go for it. Struggling with strictly adhering to what others say about what you should and shouldn't do will only stress you further.

I got the best sleep when I found out what worked for me, may I suggest you do the same.

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