10 Reality Checks For Negative Thoughts

Yesterday I talked about one way that we can become stressed, through our thoughts. So often our thoughts are distorted by our attitude and perception of a situation. This comes from what we have experienced over time. If you have a negative thought about a situation then it will influence your perception and impact your attitude.

One way that I have found to control my thoughts is to write down the situation that I am struggling with. When we write something down we don't tend to write how we 'feel' about it, we just write down the facts. 

For example, you think that you may be about to get fired from your job. Your brain will tell you that your world is about to end and you begin to feel terrible. You think in your head - 'I am about to get fired and because of that my life is falling apart'. If you write the same problem down on a piece of paper, you tend to write "I am about to get fired". You leave out the emotional response part.

When you write the problem down your brain will go straight into problem solving mode and the next thing you find is that you are writing down ways to overcome the problem - "I will get a better job". Additionally, your subconscious will become engaged because you have written it down and it will work on the problem for you while you are doing something else.

Here are nine other ways to put the issue into perspective;

·        Ask yourself - Is this really as bad as I think it is? What is the worst that can happen? Will it matter in a month or a year? 

·        Know that our brain exaggerates things to help us, your reaction is always an overreaction.

·        We all make mistakes, don't harbour guilt or regret. Move on quickly.

·        If appropriate, make a joke about the situation. This will have less of an impact on your negative emotions.

·        We can't please everyone. If you have been criticised for something remind yourself that it is just their opinion, just one person.

·        A situation is rarely the fault of one person, look at the bigger picture.

·        Don't avoid a problem, get on and fix it. If we leave it for too long the problem just grows in our mind and we can then add procrastination to the pile of bad thoughts.

·        The world sometimes isn't fair, try to see it that way. It is how you respond to a situation that makes you who you are. Respond as best you can in the situation then know that you have done your best.

·        Never fret if you don't reach perfection for perfection in your eyes may not be the same in another person’s eyes or it may be more than they ever expected. We are all different.

Stress Is What You Think It Is!

Having been diagnosed with accumulated stress disorder in 1995 (I am okay now just in case you are wondering/worried/afraid) I set out to find out what it was that caused my 'disorder'. Who was responsible for doing this to me and how can I stop them from doing it to others?

Turns out is all in my head. What, you mean I did this to myself? How could that be? American philosopher and psychologist William James (died in 1910) knew this, he said "The greatest weapon against stress is the ability to choose one thought over another". 

If you think that you are stressed you are, or soon will be if you keep thinking that way. A good way to look at things is to determine the difference between pressure and stress. 

Pressure - This is what is imposed on us - deadlines, commitments, heavy workload, and lots to do.

Stress - The way that we react to pressure. Importantly, the way we think about pressure.

Here's another way of explaining it. You may be sitting in a meeting, watching a boring presentation, (not one of mine of course) sitting at your desk, or doing something that you aren't enjoying. Your brain wonders off and you all of a sudden you start thinking about something enjoyable coming up later that day or later in the week. You may even think back to a past holiday that you enjoyed.

Instantly your mood lifts, you feel invigorated, and your mind comes back to the present and you are re-engaged in the meeting, presentation or your work. What's changed around you, nothing. What’s changed inside you, everything. 

You are as stressed as you think you are. A lot of this stuff has to do with your attitude and perspective. It's how we look at things, with a positive mood or a negative one. Change your thoughts to positive ones and your mood will lift. It is really that simple for most of us.

There are exceptions of course, sometimes stress is due to a chemical imbalance or some other internal anomaly. But generally, stress comes from our personal viewpoint. I wish that someone had told me this in 1998!

Tomorrow I will offer more suggestions on changing your perspective and maybe later in the week on how to reduce pressure.

Energy Stimulants Are Addictive

Stressful events occur throughout the day and they often go unnoticed by us. Stuck in traffic, being late for work, an encounter with an angry customer, a fight at home, all are stressful events. Even a negative thought about something bad that happened years ago can produce the same result. Research suggests that when we are stuck in traffic we produce enough adrenalin to run a mile. 

If you combine a single negative thought with low blood sugar then adrenalin really starts pumping. This results in the body using energy otherwise utilised to repair itself and instead all energy goes into constantly pumping out hormones to control blood sugar levels that you don't need to use. Because of this we become tired, irritable, can't sleep, etc., etc.

To compensate for the loss in energy we turn to stimulants such as sugar, coffee, tea, chocolate, and alcohol. Smoking also increases for those who smoke. These are things that need to be cut out of our diet and replaced with foods that I described in yesterday's post. So how do you give these addictive substances up?

The answer is, 'slowly'. If you cut everything out all at once your body will over-compensate for the reduction and guess what, you are back to producing even more adrenalin. As we have discussed, it takes 40 to 80 days to change a habit. Eating the wrong foods can also be a habit (and a craving) so it is going to take you a while.

Don’t despair though if you can’t give up some of these stimulants, that will only add to your stress levels and to producing even greater amounts of adrenalin.

Here are a few more dietary tips to help you overcome the use of stimulants;

• Unrefined, slow-releasing whole carbohydrate foods such as wholegrains, vegetables, and fruit.
• Combine carbohydrates with protein-rich foods.
• Eat regularly at the same time each day and don’t skip a meal.

Fat Food Fix

For the last few weeks I have been busy and feeling under pressure. When my energy levels dropped in the afternoons I would simply have a coffee and a chocolate bar to get a quick fix and get the energy boost needed to get me through the rest of the day.

At least twice now I have had what I thought was the beginning of a heart attack during my presentations. I became dizzy, couldn't breathe properly, felt my blood pressure rise sharply and my heart rate went through the roof. I couldn't think straight.

Knowing a little bit about heart attacks, I knew that I wasn't having one. I also knew that it felt like I was frightened of something, I was getting a sharp burst of adrenalin and cortisol in the same way that happens when I am nervous, frightened or worried.

I started reading about what was going on. It turns out that when we seek those energy boosters such as coffee and sugar, it has the opposite reaction after a short period. Initially, we get a burst of energy and then we get a deeper 'crash' after an hour or so.

To compensate for this crash adrenalin and cortisol is released into the body, just like when we are frightened, nervous or worried. And as you know, adrenalin and cortisol are poisons when they are continually released into the body.

Here are some quick fix tips on what to do to avoid low energy;

1.     Drink green tea, not coffee or black tea.

2.     Never skip breakfast.

3.     Eat protein every meal.

4.     Have a snack of fruit, nuts, cheese, hummus, or yoghurt between meals.

5.     Avoid caffeine after midday.

6.     Don't drink alcohol immediately before bedtime.

By doing these simple things, you will find your energy levels will rise and stay at their best all day.

Tomorrow I will take a closer look at the types of food that we should try to eat and more importantly, why. Don’t panic, I am not here to change your diet, just give you some things to ponder over.

Eat, Sleep and Hunt.

Who would have thought that if we didn't do these three things well enough we are more susceptible to stress. Apparently it all comes from early times (like most things about our body and brain). We ate pure unprocessed food, we slept a lot, and we would hunt all day. Don't worry, you don't actually have to go hunting, replace hunting with exercise.

There is plenty written about the importance of sleep so I am not going to add to the plethora of information on it, Google is full of helpful information for you. Just know that you need sleep for your brain to process the day's activities. When you sleep your brain defrags the thousands of thoughts and activities accumulated through the day just like when you run a defrag maintenance tool on your computer.

Dreams occur when your brain is defragging (is that such a word). We go through three REM cycles a night, at least we should, each one lasting about 120 minutes. Rapid eye movement is the last stage of each cycle and is when dreams occur. If you don’t go into this dream phase then you may feel tired the next day.

Exercise is what you need to do to ensure that blood is circulated through your plumbing and filters (kidney, liver, lungs, etc) so that clean oxygenated blood flows into your brain and 'cleans it out' properly. 30 minutes of continuous medium-to-fast paced walking is enough to ensure your filters are working hard enough. Plus, exercise can assist in growing new neurons in your brain, those little things that send messages around the brain. Know that this is a good thing.

Food is something that I never really thought too much about before. We all know that if we eat badly we will feel bad and probably not be at our best. What I have only recently found out was that if we don't eat the right food then there is a high likelihood that our brain will react adversely as if we are under stress. 

It all has to do with our insulin levels. When insulin (blood sugar) drops our body produces Adrenalin and cortisol, both of which occur when we are under stress. Additionally, these two chemicals are like a poison to our body. Adrenalin and cortisol are produced so that we can run away from danger, if there is no danger and we don't run then the poison sits in our system. Hence another reason to exercise by the way.

I am going to take a closer look at this eating factor, I'll tell you how you can eat better to reduce stress. That's for next week.